oh boy, so much has happened!

I saw star wars! It was awesome! People who don't like it are smokin something! SO much better than the first one!


I just got off of 8 days of work in a row! WOO! PARTY! i can forget the place exists until WEDNESDAY! I didn't realize how bad the stress of that place was until today when i caught myself crying for no reason. I think it was just the build up of emotions i didn't let myself feel all week so that i could get through the days. It is stressful to know your job may be in jeopardy if people don't waste more money on jewelry! pressure!

The big wig was there wednesday, and everyone hates it when he's there. We tried so hard all week to make sure everything was perfect for him to come, and he STILL found enough wrong to make everything seem hopeless! He was upset last lime that all the employees weren't making their sales goals. So now, all of their sales are better, so he yells at the manager for not making HER goals! Thing is, there are only so many customers to go around...so either they make it, or she makes it...not both. SO, in short, "wiggy" gets mad when we aren't selling, but if we spend all our time selling, he gets mad that we aren't doing the operational stuff, like inventories, but even if we have all that stuff done perfectly AHEAD OF SCHEDULE, he will get mad if we didn't make our sales as well. We can't win for losing! and always threatening to fire people doesn't help. If we could force people to buy jewelry, we would...i just don't see how other people's decision to buy or not to buy is MY fault!

HIgh school psychology tells us, that there are two reasons why people aren't motivated: either they're lazy, or they've given up hope. the former, you punish, but the latter, you have to encourage. I have been trying to talk to everyone to get THIER feelings on this whole thing, and most are clearly the latter: they gave up hope because they see that if people don't buy, their job suffers, but do we have any affect over how many people come in? very little. We DO have some control...there are things we COULD do, but they don't hold out any hope that it will make enough of a difference to even try it. I can relate. I am trying to tell them to do thier best...that's all they can do. THen, if the worst happens and we all have to look for new jobs, you can tell yourself with a clear conscience, that you gave it you best, and that is all a reasonable person can ever ask of you. I don't like to see people without hope. all in all a bad environment to work in, and i have to get out of it.


I still feel that GOd is pointing me in the direction of ministry, but with a small clarification now: There is an opportunity to volunteer, but not a paying job. I think that is a little easier to swallow. I want to see if we can improve this jewelry biz, so volunteering will give me a chance to get to know these people, and get a better idea of how things work before sticking my neck ALL the way out.

In case your wondering, the ministry is RadioU. I have been interested in this station ever since i moved to columbus, and i have a lot of respect for what they do. I would love to be a part of it. now you know.

i have to drive to bowling green tomorrow for a bridal shower, so i am going to bed now.